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The Ultimate Guide To.....Attending The IBM British Ring Convention
PART ONE
Knowing how to attend an IBM Convention is a highly complex matter. Since the Convention lasts for a number of days and has such an array of events, I will try to pull out some of the more important aspects in order to point you in the right direction.
BUYING FROM THE DEALERS
Most conventioneers spend a lot of time as well as money in the dealers hall. But I have to say that most of them do not really seem to appreciate how to behave in order to get the most out of a visit to this glitter plastic paradise. Here are some vital pointers.
Walk up to the dealer stand and look up and down the array of tricks on the front table as if looking for something.
Try to avoid eye contact with the dealer as otherwise he may be sufficiently encouraged to try and dem you something (most dealers don't dem anyway, but I put this in just in case you are unlucky and get one of the clever clogs who insists on performing everything).
It's a good idea to pick up one or two packages, rummage them, shake them around a bit so that the secret gimmick slides out from behind the instructions into view. This will enable you to spot how the trick is done without buying it, which clearly will save you quite a bit of money. If you can't really see too much in the package, wait until the dealer is busy with someone else, and rip it open and get the props out. If you don't like it, shove the props back in and leave it on the table. If you do like it, pick up an unopened one to buy. Well, you don't want to buy one that's been shop soiled, do you?
If the dealer insists on speaking to you, here are one or two lines which you may care to use. "Of course, I've got all of these" as you point to the entire range on display. Or, if you prefer, pick up one of the tricks with a long and involved routine and say, "Would you mind demming this? I've got it, but I just want to see how YOU do it." Both of the above lines are excellent as they preclude you from having to spend any money.
Experienced purchasers will tell you that there are a number of ways to ensure that you get the dealers attention to the exclusion of everybody else at the stand. Here are some of the strategies. If you want to get maximum attention, get out a substantial roll of banknotes and openly riffle through them. Then look up and down the display of products as if trying to decide which ones to buy. Then put the money away again. You will by this time have the undivided attention of the dealer.
Alternatively, arrive at the stand with several bulging carrier bags. It doesn't matter what is in them (it can be your dirty laundry if you have nothing else more suitable), just make sure that the bags have other dealers names printed on them.
Another excellent way to get the undivided attention of a dealer is to show him your version of one of his tricks. Just use his demming surface to lay out the necessary props, thus preventing him from demming anything further for anyone else. It goes without saying that the longer the routine you show him, the longer you will hold his attention.
If you see a dealer with no one at his stand, go and have a chat with him. He will be more than delighted to spend the next hour and a half hearing about your recent operation, the problems you've had with your house move, the pending court case and the standard of service you are receiving at the Convention HQ Hotel. After all, it can get lonely being marooned behind a trade stand for a whole week and the dealer would far rather pass the time away enjoying your happy tales then serving the customers who approach the stand during your chat.
If actually buying something, always pay with your credit card. This will mean that he has to take time running the card through his machine and filling all the details on the slip. Once more you have engaged more of his valuable time for yourself. And then, just as he hands you the goods, say, "Oh, could I have a receipt. Better keep the tax man happy." This involves more writing and means the dealer is even more likely to remember you the next time you come round.
Much of the art of buying from the dealers is made easier if you make yourself memorable. One way to do this is to wait until the dealer has just demonstrated a trick to a large crowd and then say in a loud voice, "I bought that one last year, but I've never done it because I couldn't get the hang of it."
Another popular way is to wait again until the dealer has a large crowd around his stand, and then to start to explain to him in detail your entire act. Preferably this should include not just the actual tricks you use, but if possible the lines you say as well. There can be little doubt that he will remember your face the next time you come round and will no doubt give you special treatment.
If possible, try not to buy a trick the first time you see it demonstrated. Remember, the IBM Convention lasts all week, so far better is to come back every day and ask to see it again each time. By the end of the week you may have figured it out, in which case you can make it up for yourself, or failing that you can come back last thing on the Saturday and try to get it at a knock down price. Most dealers would certainly appreciate your thoroughness in making your decision. The last thing any dealer wants is to see a customer making an impulse buy!
If all else fails, there is one way guaranteed to leave a dealer with your name and face uppermost in his mind. Wait until he has packed most of his merchandise away at the end of the convention, and then rush up breathlessly, clutching a £50 note and ask him for a thumb tip. He will be happy to unpack most of his stock in order to find you one and will be only too delighted to find you the £49.93 change that you require. And you thought buying from the dealers was simple, didn't you?
