E-Club ProThe Comedy Zone
The Ultimate Guide To.....Being A Children's Entertainer
It seems to me that many performers who want to take up children's entertaining go about it the wrong way. Some seem to think that you actually have to like children, that you need a half-decent act, and that you have to give value for money! Ridiculous! In this article I will show the right way to make an instant success from doing shows for young ones without the need for practice, thought or unnecessary preparation.
The key to success in this area is to understand about getting your priorities sorted out. To help you to do this I have listed underneath all that is required in order to be a successful children's entertainer, with the most important item being at the top and working down to the least important at the bottom. Follow these guidelines and you will never look back!
ADVERTISING
It doesn't matter how good an act you have, if you don't publicise it well you will not get any work. So, the first thing you must do is to get yourself into Yellow Pages. Take the biggest box you can afford (remember, the larger the ad you take the better an entertainer you must be), and then fill it with the following key words. 'Professional entertainer, 'Member of the Magic Circle', 'Award winning act', 'Children's favourite', 'High quality shows at reasonable prices'. It doesn't matter if any of it is true, you just need to hook the customers.
Newspaper advertising is good too, particularly if you can get free coverage. Every time you do something, no matter what it is, ring up the paper and tell them. Local papers have absolutely no news at all, and so will be delighted to feature your irrelevant story and will no doubt send round a photographer to capture it all pictorially too!
PROMOTIONAL LITERATURE
Get the computer working and load up your DTP software. Make some headed paper and compliment slips. If you can manage it, produce a brochure. It does not matter what claims you make or what the brochure shows as long as it looks exciting!
THE CAR
Buy the best car you can afford. The smarter the car the better your act must be.
TELEPHONE TECHNIQUE
It's best to begin by telling the booker how good you are and how dreadful all the other entertainers are. That way she will imagine that if she books you she will be getting the best. To make yourself sound cheaper, forget to mention that you always add travelling expenses and simply add a whole load onto the fee when you have finished on the day. Most bookers will not mind paying the extra £20 as they will see that you have an expensive car to run and naturally with petrol the price it is etc, that you are quite justified in putting the price up without warning.
Alternatively, you could just tell the booker that since your original telephone conversation, you have put your fees up and so the new rates apply straight away. If you make sure that you do not send any letter of confirmation the chances are she will have forgotten how much you quoted anyway and so your price increase will probably go unnoticed.
ADD-ONS
Don't forget that you can earn plenty more money by selling additional things on the day of the party. Party bags, magic tricks, hats and balloons are all great ways to fleece the unsuspecting booker. lf you tell her that everybody else NORMALLY has all of these extras, she will feel obliged to follow suit. If you are supplying the party bags, remember you can get all sorts of very cheap and tacky rubbish to fill the bags with, and if you get small bags (such as a tea bag) you will not need that much to fill it up in any case and so you can maximise your profit from each one.
Well, there you are, 5 ways to make the most from entertaining children. I think that just about covers everything. Oh, I nearly forgot, you need a kids act. Well, that's no problem. A quick trip round the dealers at the next One Day Convention will soon provide all you need and away you go. Entertaining children is a soft option? Too right!
