None of us would have chosen to be forced to stay at home for weeks on end with our nearest and dearest perhaps, but there is a silver lining to home imprisonment, and that is it gives you a chance to finally get round to the important job of sorting your magic stuff out once and for all. Here are my suggestions for what you should do.
Firstly, go and stand in front of your magic bookcase and marvel at just how many books you have gathering dust there. Appreciate fully the depth of knowledge available to you in these tomes, note the huge array of magic’s finest thinkers who have given their all for your magical education, and then rearrange them all into alphabetical order by author. Obviously don’t take any of them out and read them – there are limits, after all.
Next, get out that attache case that holds all the close up magic you thought you might perform some day. Place the case on a table and open the lid. See if, amongst the complete jumble of decks of cards, sponge balls, coin gimmicks and thumb tips, you can find your Colour Monte set that you purchased in 1978 and which you know you still keep ‘just in case…’
Time how long it takes you to find the little plastic wallet containing the cards and record it on a Post It Note. Attach the sticky paper to the inside of the case lid, chuck the Colour Monte back into the magical mayhem, mix everything up a bit, and then slam the lid shut.
Repeat the exercise every day for a week and see if you can beat your best search time. Getting fast at this sort of thing may turn out to be really useful on the next occasion where you are cramming your pockets with close up miracles at a venue prior to working a dinner.
Time now to turn your attention to that huge pile of magic magazines that are doing a presentable impression of the leaning tower of Pisa on your window ledge. Sift through the entire pile and find about 20 copies of Genii magazine. Place them in a neat pile and put a couple of rubber bands round them. This should then make the perfect way to save having to fix the broken leg on your magic room chair.
So, things are going well, but a lockdown gives you plenty of time to sort out one or two other important things. Open your magic cupboard and drag out that plastic collapsible box that is chock full of the unopened tricks that you bought at Blackpool earlier this year. Using a calculator, add up the total amount that you spent. Now go and find your wife, and tell her the truth. Honesty is the best policy even with this delicate matter. Make a mental note to order another collapsible box in time for next year’s Blackpool convention.
Well, we’re not quite done yet. Nip downstairs and find your collection of magic DVDs that are on the shelf next to the TV. Extract all of the discs from the boxes, drop them into a carrier bag, grab some string from the kitchen drawer and pop outside. Creating a line of dangling shiny objects over your wife’s seedlings to frighten away the birds will get you some much needed Brownie points following your spending confession.
There, don’t you feel good now that you’ve sorted out your magic life?